Impact Wrestling, Live From Orlando, Florida
Thursday, January 5th, 2017
Commentators: Josh Matthews and The Pope
If you missed last week’s Smackdown Live, click here WWE Smackdown Live 1/3/17 Results
Segment Number 1: Eddie Edwards Promo
The TNA World Champion kicks off a new era, and he ushers in the new year as our World Heavyweight Champion. But he knows this puts a target on his back. But Impact Wrestling was born to prove you are the best wrestler there is. 2017, a new year, a fresh start. Eddie says let’s make this the year of Impact Wrestling. Eddie has a surprise for the Wolves Nation, and here comes Lashley.
Enough Eddie, nobody wants to hear this crap. Eddie talks about a surprise? the only surprise is Eddie is still the World Champion in 2017. Lashley is tired of playing, 2017 will be the year of Lashley. 2017 will be the year of Lashley, he will be handed out ass whippings for 365 days a year, and it starts with Eddie. After that garbage that took place in Cameron, Lashley deserves a rematch, he says let’s do this match tonight. Lashley is tired of the fluke wins, so let’s give the people a surprise they want. Give him a rematch, so they can settle this once and for all.
::Trouble….trouble….trouble….EC3 comes to the ring. What’s up dudes, Ethan was in the back, and felt like there is a fight brewing. When the two men were fighting for the lineage of TNA World Title in Cameron, EC3 was watching at home, wanting, feeling that opportunity to win back the very title he won a year ago today. Lashley wants to know what EC3 wants, and EC3 makes it simple, he wants his rematch tonight. Lashley tells EC3 he is the Number One Contender. Eddie reminds them he is the one holding this title. EC3 wants a rematch? Lashley wants a rematch? Eddie says let’s kick the year off right with a Triple Threat match for the title tonight. But he still promises a special surprise for them, tonight.
Next: Impact Grand Championship Match: Moose Vs “The Miracle” Mike Bennett
Match Number 1: Moose (TNA Grand Champion) Vs “The Miracle” Mike Bennett, for TNA Grand Championship
This match goes to the decision, lasting all three rounds. Judge 1 ordered the bout 10-9, in favor of Moose. Judge 2 orders the bout 10-9, in favor of Bennett. And the winner, goes by a split decision, and still TNA Grand Champion, Moose.
Winner, and still TNA Grand Champion, Moose, by judge’s decision.
Segment Number 3: Swoggle and The Hardys
Swoggle runs into Vanguard 1, and The Hardys interrupt. Matt asks Swoggle if Vince McMahon sent him, and Swoggle assures him, he’s really not his son. WHAAAAUNDURFUL. Swoggle assures to Vanguard that they are the only normal ones there.
Segment Number 4: Rockstar Spud
Spud wants that little goofball in the ring now, because nobody turns their back on him. He is a 2-time X-Division Champion. He is a future World Champion. 2016 might not have been Spud’s year, but 2017 will, and the streak starts now.
Match Number 2: Rockstar Spud Vs Swoggle
Swoggle wins the match with a Celtic Cross. Spud was right, the “streak” begins, just not a winning streak.
Winner: Swoggle, by pinfall
Spud hates us, he lost to a one year old boy. This company sucks. Spud quits.
Segment Number 6: Bennett and Moose
Bennett wants Moose tomorrow night at the PPV, Anything Goes. Moose replies all you had to do was ask.
Tonight: Triple Threat World Title Match
Next: Eli Drake
Segment Number 7: Fact of Life with Eli Drake
For the first time in 2017, Eli Drake speaks. The fans loved him, because the sound of Eli’s voice is a hit. And here we are in 2017, nothing has changed. it’s Fact of Life is the show that starts trends, and why? Because Eli Drake runs it. EC3, this ain’t over, it will never end. Because when he is old, thinking back of yesteryear, only then will it be finished. But starting trends, Eli Drake has some questions for his guests…The Broken Hardys Queen Rebecca is playing the piano, and King Maxell is in the back, chilling.
Total Nonstop Deletion as Eli Drake was trend-setting, they came out on top of the Tag Team War, but they were missing one thing…the crowd chants Eli Drake, and they called us dummies, but they were missing one thing…Eli Drake, where was their invite? Eli had his invite, just like everyone else in the space, but Eli didn’t show up. Eli needs to know that they want him, that they need him, and he needs a personal invitation. The Hardy Violent Hospitality is eternal, you dummy. Shut up, I am talking. Hardy Hospitality, Jeffrey? Shut up. He sees the drones flying around, the fireworks going off, but they are missing one deity, and that is Eli Drake. Maybe they are afraid he would take Total Nonstop Deletion into Total Nonstop Dummy….Yeah. How dare you question his integrity, as Matthew says, because the ones that do wind up deleted, or something like that. Eli can’t comprehend what they are, they are more….they are magic. Eli is looking at the two gold belts, and here is what he’s thinking. You have Delete or Decay, or Total Nonstop Deletion, or Apolcypto, or The Great War. But let’s look to the future, how about they put the Tag team gold on the line against Eli and a partner of his choosing, and they win Tag Team Titles. Matthew accepts the challenge, and will be ready to delete…yeah…obsolete. See you tomorrow. Hardys counter Eli Drake, and stand tall.
Segment Number 8: Eddie Edwards Promo
Let’s see who is the best, and believe that anything can happen. The guy asks Eddie about the surprise, and Lashley shows up, and says either you give Lashley the title, or he will take it from him.
Tonight: Triple Threat World Title Match
Match Number 3: The Helms Dynasty Vs Decay
Rosemary threw green mist into Shane Helms’ eyes, and Decay wins the match with Abyss hitting a Chokeslam.
Here comes The DCC
They crack beer bottle in the back of the heads of Decay, taking them out. Why do The DCC do this?
Segment Number 10: Allie and Maria
Maria has something special planned for Allie, and that is next.
Segment Number 11: Maria Kanellis Bennett and Allie
It was one year ago today that “The Miracle” and Maria came to TNA, and they saved the brand. She can’t wait to see what they bring in 2017, but there is one tiny, squeaky, little knatt she must take care of first. Allie, get yourself in here now.
It takes courage to come to the ring, but everything Allie has done, she has messed up her life. Maria was the greatest Knockouts Champion, and she owned The Knockout Division, but Allie ruined that. So she owns Allie, and if she wants a match? She brought backup, does she want a match?
BRING IT ON!!
Match Number 4: Allie Vs Sienna
Braxton Sutter was out there with Allie, but Laurel Van Ness made a pass at Braxton, this distracted Allie. Sienna hits a Silencer, and wins.
Winner: Braxton Sutter, by pinfall
Match Number 5: Eddie Edwards (TNA World Champion) Vs Lashley Vs EC3, for the TNA World Title
Eddie picks up the win, pinning Lashley after a returning Davey Richards came out, to aid his partner after Lashey brought the World Title in the ring, Eddie hits the Boston Knee Party for the win, and celebrates with his returned partner, and ends the show.
Winner: Eddie Edwards, by pinfall to retain TNA World Title
Anthem Entertainment bought the majority interest of Impact Wrestling, the makers of Fight Network in Canada can bring many things to the table. But tonight, this felt like a normal show. They could have hit a Grand Slam here, but hit a good Ground Rule Double. The main event was good, and we can see a Edwards Vs Davey program down the road. Just not tonight.
What were your thoughts of the show? Send them to me. Could TNA done something more tonight?
Quick Match Results:
**Moose (C) def Mike Bennett, by Judge’s Decision, to retain Grand Championship
**Swoggle def Rockstar Spud, by pinfall
**Decay def The Helms Dynasty, by pinfall
**Sienna def Allie, by pinfall