Kevin Gillman is the editor of the Ringside Seats section here on Forever Rebuilding.

Impact Wrestling, from The Hardy Compound, in Cameron, North Carolina

Thursday, December 15th, 2016

Commentators:  Josh Matthews and Jeremy Borash

If you missed Wednesday night’s WWE Tribute to the Troops, click here WWE Tribute To The Troops Full Results 12/14/16

Video:  The preparation of Total Nonstop Deletion

We get a news broadcast, telling the Cameron citizens to stay out of harm’s way, Betty-Sue Fuentes is reporting a volcano, Brother Nero is ready for destruction.  Vanguard 1 is ready to showcase, this is Total Nonstop Deletion.

Segment Number 1:  The Broken Hardys

Tonight, Brother Hardy invited 50 of his most devoted soldiers, the entire city of Cameron has been shut down, because of Apocalypto is among us.  If they don’t prove they are the greatest tag team, total obsolete will take place.  And the sole throne to the Hardy Heir, King Maxel will make his in-ring debut.

Rockstar Spud comes out to interrupt Matt Hardy.  Matt says Spud is worthy of deletion.  Spud won’t be deleted, because he is sick of Matt Hardy, he is sick of his brother, he is sick of his wife, his gardener, and most of all, he is sick of his spoiled brat taking his TV time.  He wants his stupid kid gone.  He hasn’t even had a match, and he’s more over than Spud.  He wants his stupid son, so he can stretch him, he can punish him, and just like his father, he wants to prove he is just his father, a loser.  So Matt asks instead of choosing his opponent, Spud wants to face his own son?  Well, since he is the glorious promoter, the match is set.

Match Number 1:  Rockstar Spud Vs King Maxel in a No-DQ Match

Senor Benjamin with a taser, and Maxel wins the match.

Winner:  King Maxel, by pinfall

Earlier Today:  Bobby Lashley and Eddie Edwards, champion and challenger entered The Hardy Compound

Video:  More footage in Cameron, North Carolina

Betty-Sue Fuentes has more footage, and we see The Helms Dynasty entering the roads.

Video:  The Rock And Roll Express

Rock and Roll are entering The Hardy Compound for the Tag Team Apocalypto.

Segment Number 3:  Selena Promo

She has been looking in the back for Rosemary, and she isn’t even here.  Because she is scared of Selena.  And since she isn’t here, Selena will make herself the Number One Contender to the Knockouts Title.  But she will challenge anyone to face her for the Knockouts Number One Contender.

Match Number 2:  Selena Vs Vanguard 1

The ref says it needs to be a woman, so he throws the drone out of the compound, so Selena challenges any woman, and that answer is none other than….

Match Number 3:  Selena Vs ODB

Selena picks up the win, after the ref was bumped, and Vanaguard 1 posed as a ref.  Selena nailed ODB with a chair, and gave her The Silencer.

Winner:  Selena, by pinfall

Video:  The Helms Dynasty and Matt Hardy

Helms wants this match to be where it began, Apocalypto in the ring.

Next:  Inchweeed debut

Match Number 4:  Inchweeed Vs Chet Sterling

Jeff Hardy’s alter-ego, Inchweeed picks up a Pesticide Elbow for the win.

Oh Boy!!

Winner:  Inchweeed, by pinfall

Next:  Lashley Vs Edwards

Video:  Hardy Flashback

Matt brings the troops together, it should be deeeelightful.

Match Number 5:  Eddie Edwards (TNA World Champ) Vs Lashley, for the TNA World Championship

This match will carry on all through the night, as both men went flying out of the building and are all over Cameron, North Carolina.

Winner:  No Contest

Match Number 6:  Tag Team Apocalypto for the TNA World Tag Team Titles

The official teams are The Broken Hardys, The Helms Dynasty, Rock and Roll Express, Decay, and possibly more teams.  Smoke is in the city, the public must evacuate the property. We start with rocket launchers, seeing Ricky Morton use one is dangerous.  The Helms Dynasty tries to escape, but is met with Broken Matt Hardy.  Brother Nero tries to follow them, and the battle begins.

Other tag teams are involved.  The Bravado Brothers have joined in.  Decay is taking care of The Ugly Ducklings.  Here comes Showtime.  The Bravados have arrived.  Who is Spud’s partner?  Hornswoggle?  More fighting between The Hardys and The Helms Dynasty.  The boat saves “Broken” Matt Hardy.  It’s the return of 3 Count?  The Bravado Brothers want a chance.  Now, it’s Rock and Roll express Vs The Hardys in the ring.  Now Jeff and Ricky are on a Skywalker, this is, ummm something?

On the other side of the planet, The Helms Dynasty Vs The Bravado Brothers.

But Jeff misses the Swanton off the Skywalker.  Matt hits a Twist of Fate, and eliminates Rock and Roll.

Swoggle and Spud eliminate The Bravado Brothers, but Spud shoved Swoggle, and Swoggle gave Spud a Powerbomb, and hits a Frogsplash, with Helms Dynasty eliminating Spud.  Meanwhile, Ricky Morton is still stuck on a Skywalker, and Road Warrior Animal shows up, laughing at Ricky.  Decay is ready for some fresh meat, and here comes DCC, but some clown gets smashed, because he thought he was a member.  James Storm screams at the ref saying he wasn’t even a part of the team.  Decay wants some more.

We come back, and see the news crew recap all of this, while everyone is beating each other up silly, including Lashley and Edwards, who shows up too.  Stand back, there is a Hurricane coming through.  Meanwhile, the last segment here is everyone remaining.  Decay, Helms Dynasty, and Broken Hardys are still fighting.  Just when Decay has things going their way, Vanguard takes care of Decay with some rocket launchers.  The Broken Hardys take out Helms Dynasty, after The Hurricane helps The Hardys, and now this Helms Dynasty is broken.  Matt pins Andrew, and wins the match, with Matt and Hurricane burying the Helms Dynasty, Matt says “Even a man with 3 H’s would love how we bury this young talent”.

Oh boy.

We are left with Decay and The Hardys, with Vanguard lighting the Hardy symbol up with flames.  And it all ends in the ring, because, why not?  Twist of Fate, by Brother Nero, and into a hurricane, Crazzy Steve flies out of the volcano, and Jeff pins him for the win.

Winners:  The Broken Hardys and The World

The Hardys will rebuild The Hardy Compound, and Remy reveals she is pregnant….WONDERFUL!!

The show ends.

Kevin’s Thoughts:

Wow, I mean, wow.  This is the first Impact I have seen in 2 months, before Bound for Glory.  So, if you show a wrestling fan a tape of Impact Wrestling for the first time, this is not the episode you show them.  But then again, this was cheese to the tee, so you can’t even take this serious.  The best part was the World Title match, though I guess you can say it ended in a no contest.  Helms was great in this, as was Decay.  And we see the debut of Swoggle, so we can’t really say this was an instant classic, but Matt Hardy is hilarious.  We will more than likely get a more straight-forward episode of Impact next week.  Just don’t take this episode seriously, and don’t show this to a fan who has never seen an episode of Impact Wrestling.

Quick Match Results:

**King Maxel def Rockstar Spud, by pin

**Selena and Vanguard ends in a no contest

**Selena def ODB by pin

**Inchweeed def Chet Sterling

**Eddie Edwards (C) Vs Lashley ends in a no contest

**The Broken Hardys win Tag Team Apocalypto